faking it, fighting it
I am so over this funk.
I hate being miserable.
I am not naturally a grumpy person, I prefer to be giggly and silly and happy and energetic and cheerleady. I hate the way this funk makes me feel. So I am going to fight it.
I am gonna fight to get to where I like to be. The place where I am my happiest me! I am going to work on me. I know I feel better when I am not stressing about losing weight but still working on it. I know I feel better when I am exercising regularly but not stressing it.
Ah-ha! I am seeing a pattern. I start with something that makes me feel better but then I somehow turn that same thing into something stressful. Stress leads to a funk. Funk leads me into a not-so-nice place. I came across this quote on pinterest (yep, I am pin-addict) and I was drawn to reading it over and over again.
I am only human, so mistakes and emotions (emotions are not the mistakes, but mistakes compound emotions) happen. I always tell my students the only real mistake is to not learn from said mistakes. Emotions are meant to be felt. I have to let myself feel them, but the mistake I have been making is to let those emotions dictate my actions.
I can learn from this; I know a few things and I will build upon that which I know!
I know I do better with a plan but monthly goals of x-number of whatevers always gets me off track. I must STOP doing this.
I do great when I make a daily to-do list. I need to do this every night before I go to bed. Its a way of seeing what the day looks like and keeping it all straight. I must write things down. It just works for me!
I know I feel better with regular exercise, so my new plan is no plan. I am going to get my ass to the gym! I like the gym, I feel better after I workout. So, my non-plan is to have a gym bag with me every day and after school I will do something. I will elliptical or lift weights or take a yoga class or some combination. I must JUST DO SOMETHING!!
I know I feel better when I am eating good-for-me foods but not being ridiculously restrictive. I also know, sometime I need to tough-love myself because I do have the most ridiculous sweet tooth and no control when it comes to brownies or goldfish. I know if I force myself to slow down and breathe a bit before I eat mindlessly, I can talk myself into better choices. As long as I have a menu plan I keep dinner rather balanced and as long as I pack lunches I keep them balanced. My biggest problem is snacking before and after dinner. I will make a conscious effort to make better choices than I have been making. I will also go back to tracking and counting my points.
It is time to find my happy.
Find my balance.
Do what feels better.
And while I figure it all out, I will fake it and fight it until it all works itself out!
It is all part of the process…the journey!