I am Jen, Jen I am

my journey towards happy and healthy healing…inside and out!

Archive for the month “April, 2012”

#WW week 12 & 13

I totally did not post my weight in last week. Ok, I actually sorta did…on my “pounds & inches” page. It all got me thinking, I am really on a different path these days. The scale is only one teeny, tiny part of my week.  Thanks to my mom, I am attending WW meetings and I love my meetings. I love the social aspect and the learning aspect. I really, really like that I step on a scale that I cannot manipulate by jumping on and off until I achieve the “best” number.  I also do not actually see the number.

For me, that just works. I don’t stress the scale anymore. I step on, the receptionist prints out a the little sticker for my book, she tells me my results, we share pleasantries and the stress of the scale is over. This scale procedure has helped me rethink the whole weight loss experience. This is my second attempt with WW and this time the scale does not dictate my success. Last time, I was totally focused on the scale and this time, I am working the program and learning the healthy guidelines. I needed the refresher/reminder about better food choices.

So all this rambling comes down to a new weigh (pun intended, ’cause yeah, I am that much of a dork) for weekly weigh-in posts. I am dropping the weigh-in parts of this post…I will still do a weekly recap and the weekly lesson I learn in my WW meetings but I will only update my weight info on my pounds & inches page. I don’t want to obsess about  the scale, I just want to weigh in at my meeting and be done with it.  Ok?!? ok.

The Lesson:  BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

Sorry I missed last week’s meeting and lesson for you.

This week’s meeting was awesome and the message was beyond amazing.  Stephanie (WW leader) started by reading a letter supposedly written by a member who has been struggling and just about ready to give up. The letter writer said, “I hate myself.” Stephanie asked up what we would tell this letter writer.

So many wonderful thoughts went around the room.  Such wonderful advice…like: call a friend, come to a meeting, don’t give up, the scale is not only tool for success, think about positives, don’t focus on negatives.

It all came down to …

Being NICE to ourselves!

Best thing I heard at this meeting: Andrea shared, “if we talked to anyone else the way we talk to ourselves, we should expect someone to punch us…or turn it around, if anyone else spoke to us the way we talk to ourselves, we would punch or slap that person.”

TRUE STORY!

Especially when you consider we are Jersey Girls!

It is time to be nice to ourselves.

Hell yeah!

I love me some me!

most of the times.

And then there are the times when I am so hard on myself. I know that part of that is ingrained in me from childhood; my mom had a habit of pointing out the negatives and ignoring the positives. I won’t go into details because really that would need its very own post.

I have been working on being as positive with myself as I am with everyone else. To know me if to know I am super cheerleader to everyone I meet. I mean everyone. But I am not so good t cheerleading for myself.  I will work harder on it! I will done my cheerleader costume of pig tails, bobby socks & saddle shoes and learn to acknowledge and cheer on the awesome stuff I do and give myself a break when I mess up or am less-than-“perfect” aka human.

At my meeting, I mentioned how as a teacher I have learned to use the power of 3. For every negative, have 3 positives. We have to tell kids when they do something wrong, but we can also mention a few positives. So how about we use this same concept?!?

I am going to take this a step further, and every day, I am going to list 3 positives to happen or 3 gratitudes. Every day there is good…I just need to remember! Every negative (missed workout, sugary meal, binge, excuse, bad food choice, etc) is a chance to learn. Learning is a big positive!  Every day, even the “bad” days, I will think of 3 positives of the day or 3 things I am grateful are in my life!

Can you be nice to you? Can you think of  3 positives for every negative thing you say about yourself? C

 

 

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the plans, week of 4.29

on the menu

Sunday: Beef Stew

Monday: Ginger chicken with snow peas & baby bok choy over rice ( Basically, I am going to combine this recipe with this  one) *

Tuesday:  Smoked Ribs & Bird (husband will be breaking in his new smoker, so we are purposely making extra – chicken will be for lunches & salads rest of the week) with Pasta Salad, Cole Slaw, and a regular salad (lettuce, cukes & tomatoes) **

Wednesday:  Chicken Bruschetta Bake  and a big old salad (and leftover salads)

Thursday: Venison Sausage & Spaghetti and a big old salad

Friday:  Steak, baked potatoes and a salad

misc

applesauce cake, bean & avocado salsa, bacon & green onion potato-crusted quich

*after dinner Monday night, I will make Tuesday’s pasta salad (it definitely tastes better when it sits and flavors all meld for a day)

**after dinner Tuesday night, I will make the Chicken Bruschetta Bake  for Wednesday. I will make it, wrap it in foil and put it in the fridge – whoever gets home first on Wednesday will take it out & bring it to room temp. Mama, has a walking date with a few friends.

at the gym

Monday: NROLFW, S2, WO B1 +15 mins of elliptical intervals

Tuesday: elliptical 45-60 mins (or zumba)

Wednesday: NROLFW, S2, WO A2  – walking date with WW friends.

Thursday: elliptical 45-60 mins (and/or yoga)

Friday: NROLFW, S2, WO B2 + 15 mins of elliptical intervals

Saturday or Sunday: 45-60 mins elliptical

elliptical note: I am working on consistency. I want to workout 5-6 days…not to kill myself, but for the consistency. I am also working on my heart rate training. My heart rate tends to jump HIGH when I lift weights, and my polar training computer is always telling me I train way too much in zone 3 (the high zone) so I need to pay attention and train in zone 2 & 3….enter the elliptical training. Not to be confused with elliptical intervals where I will purposely try to hit zone 3 for 1 minute intervals.

full disclosure: I am a Polar ambassador, Polar has provided me with my heart rate monitor but as always, all thoughts & opinions are mine for free.

The Rory Book List

anyone who knows me, knows I love to read!! I will read almost anything…the tube of toothpaste, the back of the shampoo bottle, the coupon flyer that is sitting on the table waiting to be recycled., and even a book. When I was a kid, books were my escape – you see my parents were always fighting and some of those fights were pretty violent. As I got older and they got divorced, their fights didn’t get better but different.  My mom’s family is a family of fighters – they were always yelling or throwing things…anyway, long story short…I found myself reading and I learned when I am reading, the world can crumble around me and I don’t hear it.

I am still like this, most of the time. Once I get sucked into the story, I want to read more and more of that story and know more about the characters and their lives.

I also like to watch TV…

and one of the shows I watched way back in the day was Gilmore Girls.  The other day I somehow found myself on a site that had The Rory List – a list of all the books Rory read (or were mentioned on GG) and there are 250 books on this list. I thought I would see how many I have read…and how many you have read….

Would anyone want to start a virtual bookclub??

We could pick one  of the books on the Rory List that none of us have ever read….

http://bookreviews.me.uk/rory-gilmore-reading-challenge/

Rory’s List (in alphabetical order)

1984 by George Orwell
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
The Art of Fiction by Henry James
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Babe by Dick King-Smith
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
Christine by Stephen King
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories by Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
Cousin Bette by Honor’e de Balzac
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Cujo by Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci -Code by Dan Brown
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Deenie by Judy Blume
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx
The Divine Comedy by Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Don Quijote by Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
Emma by Jane Austen
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Ethics by Spinoza
Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
Extravagance by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 of The Lord of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien
Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
Fletch by Gregory McDonald
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate by Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Group by Mary McCarthy
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry
Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
Henry V by William Shakespeare
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
Howl by Allen Gingsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
The Iliad by Homer
I’m with the Band by Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Inferno by Dante
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village by Hillary Clinton
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Love Story by Erich Segal

Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The Manticore by Robertson Davies
Marathon Man by William Goldman
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsro by William Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and It’s Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Night by Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Old School by Tobias Wolff
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
Oracle Night by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean
A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
The Return of the King: The Lord of the Rings Book 3 by J. R. R. Tolkien
R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (TBR)
Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
Selected Hotels of Europe
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus by Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Shane by Jack Shaefer
The Shining by Stephen King
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
Slaughter-house Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
Songbook by Nick Hornby
The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
Time and Again by Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (TBR)
To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (TBR)
The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (TBR)
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless by Carol Shields
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

the plans, week of april 23rd

Sunday: Gumbo over rice

Monday:  Crockpot Pork, mashed potatoes & asparagus

Tuesday: Raviolis & Salad

Wednesday: Chinese-style Chicken Stirfry

Thursday: Sirloin, baked potatoes (sweets for me) & salad

Friday: Veal Paprika

extras:

asian-inspired vegetable soup

roasted red-pepper hummus

chop veggies for lunches

grill chicken breasts for lunches)

veggie quiches

Workouts:

Monday: NROLFW, S2, WO A#1

Tuesday: Zumba

Wednesday: NROLFW, s2, WO B#1

Thursday: yoga & elliptical

Friday: NROLFW, S2, WO A#2

Saturday: elliptical

5 months ago…

5 months ago I had surgery to fix my knee and ankle issues!

ok, it was 5 months yesterday.

I have come a long way in five months!

5 months ago, I was completely non-active! I had cut all my running and walking out prior to surgery. After the last ankle sprain, my leg just didn’t want to be bothered. Walking in my classroom during the school day and physical therapy was enough for me! I know now I should have done something, even simple upper body exercises would have been better than the nothing I did.

Live and learn!

In January I re-joined Weight Watchers.

I completed physical therapy at the end of February.

I joined a gym in the middle of February.

I spent all March getting acquainted and comfortable with the gym.

I coerced many friends into NROLFW and Karina created a blog for us and we call ourselves the #ironsisters .

I fell in love with lifting heavy weights…still can’t believe I was scared of weight training!

I have tried new things – last night I tried zumba (OMG, what was I thinking?!?) and before that I tried yoga (I LOVE) and joining the gym and lifting weights.

 

I am learning so much about me and my body and what I CAN do!!

I am pushing myself.

I am growing.

I am still healing.

But I am strong!

I am stronger than I ever thought possible.

And I can only get stronger (physically and mentally) as I continue with my adventures.

 

I cannot believe it has been 5 months!!

I ca”t wait to see what is still to come!!!

 

 

weighing in, #WW week 11

The scale: 

This week: 225.2

Last week: 226.4

Change:  -1.2

Total Loss: -6.8

The Reaction and the Reflection: 

consistency.

tracking.

oh, how I hate both words.

I hate them because they WORK!!

I am certainly not perfect but I am working on being better!!

The Lesson: COMMIT TO FIT! 

We talked about having a back up plan and we all have them….if our car tire has a flat, we still manage to get to work. Just an example, but it is true. We will do everything to get to work. We do everything to make sure our kids and significant other need things. We do what needs to be done to run the house.

and on and on…

But when it comes to taking care of ourselves, making working out (or plainly being active), we tend to not find the time. We don’t make back-up plans for this.

Why don’t we make back-up plans?

Why don’t we make our workouts or activity or eating for that matter a priority?!?

I have been working on making working out a consistent thing. I have been plowing through Stage 1 of NROLFW – but I can be better, I can be more consistent.  I enjoy the gym. I really have come to love my workouts. Lifting heavy weights is fun.

Now, I need to remember that…all of that!

I am going to COMMIT TO my FIT.

This week I am going to commit to:

1. weekday morning walks with Lucy (even 15 minutes will be good for her, and me!)

2. Monday, Wednesday – special workouts to complete stage 1

3. Thursday – meet with trainer at gym, she is going to walk me thru all of the exercises in stage 2

4. 300 minutes of exercise – thanks Dacia for the challenge !!

 

How will you commit to be fit this week?!?

workin’ on it, always workin’ on it

I want to make changes.

But I am resistant.

I want my husband to make changes.

He is totally resistant.

But something’s gotta give.

I need to make changes until I find the right ones for permanent, healthy living.  The changes that work long-term for me and for my family.

  •  I have triggers – foods I eat with the intention of only one and then devour way more than one. brownies. really, yummy, fresh from the oven bread,
  •  I need to track – it doesn’t matter where, WW, MFP, paper – it works!
  •  I do much better when I eat lots of fruits and veggies and meats.
  •  I do so much better with a plan that works for me. Like I have to go to the gym right after school – if I come home first, I get comfortable and then I make excuses and I then  I don’t go to the gym.
  •  I also realize, I need consistency! I do better when I have something planned each day – I like my lifting on MWF, and I really like my Thursday, 4:45 yoga class

I think I need my own food rules.

I have no idea what they are just yet but I know they have to be MY rules – whatever works for me.

I will definitely need to track better so I know what works best for me.

I guess all of life is just one big series of trial and error and try again.

I suppose finding my healthy/happy/food/exercise/ balance is the current round of trial and error.

I can only hope to show my husband and daughter good, healthy habits.

I can really hope to inspire and encourage ALL of us to have good, healthy habits!

always an adventure on planet Jen, I tell ya!

time to head out to my WW meeting.

peace, y’all!

 

 

not exactly wordless, but it is wednesday

I love you ChristieO!!

I know you have the fight to kick cancer-ass!!

But I got your back, anyway!!

I am in a fighting mood, who should I punch first??

Photo

warning, many eff-bombs

warning: this post is going to contain numerous eff-bombs!

 

Dear #dicklint,

 

Who the fuck do you think you are?!?

How dare you?

It has been years since we spoke and that did not go well.

It has been 12 years since you have seen my daughter.

You may share some biological connection but dna does not make a daddy.

Did you really think I would accept your request for facebook friendship?!?

Leave my friends alone! They aren’t going to feed you info.

If you wanted to be a part of her life, maybe you should have tried many years ago.

You will not disrupt her life!

You will not fuck with me!

You have no power over me!

Your have no control over me!

I will admit, at first I had fear.

Then, there was confusion.

Then anger.

Still anger!

Lots of anger!

I was paralyzed with the swirl of emotions.

They hit me so hard.

so fast.

So, all at once.

I was in a tornado.

Trapped in the swirl.

Paralyzed by it all, but mostly the anger.

Still the anger is present.

I am trying to breathe but it is hard.

Today, I take a stand!

Yesterday, I made it to the gym and I lifted heavy weights.

Lifting heavy weights, I focused on the strength I have gained.

I am not the same scared little 22 year old who left you and your abuse.

I am stronger.

SO.MUCH.STRONGER.

But I can thank you.

You pushed me to gain strength.

You pushed me to be a better person (it wasn’t hard, I just needed you out of our life).

Full circle.

You can’t hurt me anymore.

I will NOT allow you to hurt my little girl.

I am strong!

I am in control.

You, are a pathetic excuse for a man!

However, I must thank you.

You taught me to trust myself.

and you gave me the greatest gift, but you can’t have her back.

So, NO, I will not be your facebook friend.

Are you that fucking dumb that you thought I would?!?

 

Fuck you and goodbye!

 

weighing in, #WW week 10

The scale: 

This week: 226.4

Last week: 229.4

Change:  -3

Total Loss: -5.6

The Reaction and the Reflection: 

oh yeah baby!!

that’s what I’m talkin’ bout!!

This week I focused on tracking.  I tracked more than just my WW points. I also tracked my calories using myfitnesspal (MFP) – not for calorie counting purposes but to know what my protein, carbs, fats, and fiber count/percentage is each day. I know I need to eat more protein while I am on the NROLFW plan but I was not sure how much protein I was actually eating every day. I have also been thinking about the amount of carbs I have in my diet…and fiber.  I am starting to think, when it comes to tracking, I need more than simple WW points.  I NEED my WW meetings; they have come to mean so much…plus, the scale may be an issue if I had to deal with it on my own. I like that I step on the scale but I don’t have to see the scale…it isn’t the important part of this journey!

The Lesson: 

This week’s meeting was all about ANCHORS.

Why did we start Weight Watchers? one lady told her roller coaster story…the day she sat on the bench, telling her son she was tired and didn’t want to ride the roller coaster, when in fact she feared not fitting on the roller coaster.

Why do we attend the Saturday, 10:30am meeting? Friendship, this meeting is like a family…so many of the member are longstanding members, in many different places on their journeys.

Do we have an anchor? On a boat, an anchor is used to keep the boat from drifting away. The anchor keeps the boat in its place, only letting the boat stray so far before stopping it.

My sportID bracelet is engraved with the words, “make each say better than the day before” and this helps me remember to take it all one day at a time. One lady talked about a picture she took just this morning…she took a picture of an old pair of underwear from 100+pounds ago with her current underwear on top of the old pair…this was her anchor…a strong visual reminder why she is on this journey.  Some of the ladies mentioned their WW 10% keychains or 25-pound disc as an anchor.

I think I will look for the perfect anchor….maybe a charm for my pandora-style bracelet since I wear that nearly every day.

What is your anchor?

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