I am Jen, Jen I am

my journey towards happy and healthy healing…inside and out!

weighing in, #WW week 8

The scale: 

This week: 227.4

Last week: 228.8

Change: -1.4

Total Loss: -4.6

The Reaction and the Reflection: 

I knew the scale had to eventually move in the right direction. It has been a long slow process to lose weight this time. This is week 8 and I have lost 4.6 pounds. I thought I would be further along then I am…the last time I was following the Weight Watchers plan I lost pretty consistently.

This time is so different.

I am so different.

Yes, I want to lose weight.  But my reasons are different now then they were 8 weeks ago.  8 weeks ago, I was feeling fat and mushy. I was just starting to walk without crutches and I was feeling sorry for myself. None of my clothes fit and I felt weak. I was in a bad place.

Now, I feel like my weight loss journey is only partially about weight loss.

I want to be STRONG! I don’t want to be out of breath when I walk up the steps and school. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. Since starting #NROLFW, I remember how I feel when I am working out consistently. Ok, it is still hard right now. My body requires more attention. I am still remembering the last time I felt really good about my body…last summer when I was running consistently…I felt confident and comfortable in my skin. I have no idea what I weighed but I know I felt good.

These days, I am not feeling all that comfortable in my skin, but I am learning what my body is capable of doing. I am learning I have so much healing to do. I know it has only been 4 months since surgery.  I am pushing myself by lifting weights; I even added heavier weights this week. Weights heavier than I thought possible. I have come to the startling conclusion that even though I was running consistently and training for half marathons, I was lazy when it came to anything other than the running. I am paying for that laziness now – I have not pushed myself in the past and now that I am, it feels awkward. I am stuck in between wanting to baby myself and wanting to push myself, fear of failure and fear of success, pain and healing.

This past week, I did a weights workout twice. It should have been three weights workouts but I had a mid-week unintended two day rest. I had some female issues coupled with an insanely intense headache for two days. I chose to listen to my body and on day two of said misery, I came home from school and took a nap and still went to bed early.  Clearly my body needed the rest.

It was a week where I stepped out of my comfort zone. Not only did I step out of  the private women’s room, but I seriously upped my weights. Not to some ridiculous weight that was too heavy but to an appropriately heavy number. I felt strong and powerful and I wasn’t in agony the day after. I tried pushups on my toes…they were ugly pushups but I did it! I even tried out a yoga class…and even though it wasn’t easy and I felt uncoordinated, it felt so good to test my body.

I will do more of the same this week.

The Lesson: 

At this week’s WW meeting we talked about what was working in our journeys.  By talking to the group and listening to other member’s stories, I realized I do best in my journey when I track and when I exercise.  I feel best. I eat better and I workout more consistently. It is definitely like a balance beam…I have to line everything up so it stays evenly balanced. I can’t and won’t be a workout maniac or the perfect eater. I can, however, find the right balance for me. Right now it appears that if I workout a little bit each day I feel best. If I workout just a little bit each day I pay more attention to what I am eating. I also sleep do good on nights I have worked out.

Have you found your balance?

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2 thoughts on “weighing in, #WW week 8

  1. annsgonnablow on said:

    You are doing great and have come so far over the past 8 weeks! I’m so proud of you!

  2. annsgonnablow on said:

    You are doing so great! I’m so proud of how far you have come over the past 8 weeks!! Keep listening to your body….

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