I am Jen, Jen I am

my journey towards happy and healthy healing…inside and out!

realizing I like the turtles

I was going to blog a Christmasy recap!

I had the BEST Christmas but I am going to save that for another post.

I had such a great day and somewhere, somehow, I had a sorta revelation. To be fair, it has been on my brain and I have been thinking such thoughts but during a conversation with my mom’s boyfriend it really became clear.

I usually am the kind of chick who spins in circles. I do so much yet so little. My husband is always telling me I do too much, that I do too much at the same time, and that I suck at finishing things. I want to be mad at him, but he is totally right. He has been telling me this stuff since forever. I like to say I am scatterbrained but truth is, I am easily distracted. I think part of it is I need to be needed so I volunteer to do everything.

I hate this about myself. I do not like half-assing, procrastinating, or not finishing what I start. I know I do this but I haven’t fixed it!

As you know, I have been sorta stuck on the couch since surgery. When I do leave the couch it is a pain! I have to think about what I need to accomplish while I am up. I have to plot it out every time I get off the couch. Crutches suck!! Getting anything accomplished is an effort but over the last almost-6 weeks I have learned a few things.

I am on crutches and not allowed to put any weight on my right ankle. This makes doing almost anything so much harder.  I NEED to focus on this ankle – the knee is healing nicely and if it weren’t for having ankle surgery at the same time I would be walking normally by now! Crutches use way more energy that normal walking. An hour out of the house requires a nap!

Crutches and ankle healing-pain has forced me to focus!

Circling back to my revelation. Apparently, my tendency to spin/talk in circles is a family trait. My mom is the same way but way more intense. She is a way more, in general, intense person than I am so that makes sense. I also see the same tendency in my daughter.

I NEED TO WORK ON THIS A LOT MORE!!!

Being all hobbled up has given me what I call….Forced Focus!

What is Forced Focus?

Injured ankle/hobbling one legged/crutches all mean one thing…I cannot spin in circles.

I have been forced to focus on one task at a time!!

Do you have any idea how amazing it feels to be productive and organized?!?

I actually finish tasks! And when I am working on a task, I clean up after myself as I go! (My husband is liking this aspect of Forced Focus the best!!) I am making more to-do lists and then tackling the tasks in an order that makes sense. I still do too much, but that is just me.

Forced Focus = forced slow down = one thing at a time

This is all very not like me!

So, I was tweeting last night. I was struck with inspiration.

I was thinking about maybe starting another new blog. A blog focused on this new realization. This new “Forced Focus” focus could be its own blog! I thought about it though and realized something else….I mean it is EXACTLY what LLLM (listen.learn.love.mend) is all about!

THIS

 

This is exactly what I wanted from my mending! I want to listen to my heart and my body, learn from what they “say” and love myself enough to Mend!!!

I have been forced to slow down.

I am embracing my inner turtle.

So, I am not starting a new blog. But I will be adding a new feature. I will blog regularly about embracing my inner turtle. I will continue to FOCUS and work on slowing down and enjoying the ride. I don’t blog for money or fame (though, I wouldn’t mind if threw money at me – not literally, mmkay?!) but I blog to have a place to work out the crazy stuff in my head. I blog so that I can figure out me.

Yesterday and today, I did some ME work.

When it comes to the turtle and the rabbit…I want to be the turtle. Running in circles and speeding around hasn’t gotten me to a happy place.

I will continue to work on focus and doing one thing – finishing it, cleaning up from it, and enjoying it before I move onto something new.

I will find my happy place.

I like turtles.

I will embrace my inner turtle.

Will you?!?

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow’s agenda:

8:15 doc appt for cast removal

9:00 Physical Therapy

Nap

Blog Christmasy recap

Nap

Blog “what’s up with ankle”

Nap

Not too sure…

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3 thoughts on “realizing I like the turtles

  1. ahhhhhhhh – LOVE THIS! funny (not ha ha funny but odd kinda funny) how life’s stuff points us in a direction and teaches us in the strangest of ways. i too… spin… and it became clear this year that it was making me KRAZY. not the kind of KRAZY that I adore… but the kind of krazy that hurts me – and that’s not good. I made a special attempt on the work front to slow down and stop multi tasking. it was LOVELY and productive and freeing.
    Circles do have there place – I love circles. But there is a time for ye old A to B segments.
    Love this!

  2. I LOVE THIS JEN.

    Im with you
    Im like you
    Im happy to be slowslow and have others pass my by as long as my own LIFE doesnt pass me by as well.

    xo

  3. I LOVE THE TURTLE! The turtle always wins.

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