realizing I like the turtles
I was going to blog a Christmasy recap!
I had the BEST Christmas but I am going to save that for another post.
I had such a great day and somewhere, somehow, I had a sorta revelation. To be fair, it has been on my brain and I have been thinking such thoughts but during a conversation with my mom’s boyfriend it really became clear.
I usually am the kind of chick who spins in circles. I do so much yet so little. My husband is always telling me I do too much, that I do too much at the same time, and that I suck at finishing things. I want to be mad at him, but he is totally right. He has been telling me this stuff since forever. I like to say I am scatterbrained but truth is, I am easily distracted. I think part of it is I need to be needed so I volunteer to do everything.
I hate this about myself. I do not like half-assing, procrastinating, or not finishing what I start. I know I do this but I haven’t fixed it!
As you know, I have been sorta stuck on the couch since surgery. When I do leave the couch it is a pain! I have to think about what I need to accomplish while I am up. I have to plot it out every time I get off the couch. Crutches suck!! Getting anything accomplished is an effort but over the last almost-6 weeks I have learned a few things.
I am on crutches and not allowed to put any weight on my right ankle. This makes doing almost anything so much harder. I NEED to focus on this ankle – the knee is healing nicely and if it weren’t for having ankle surgery at the same time I would be walking normally by now! Crutches use way more energy that normal walking. An hour out of the house requires a nap!
Crutches and ankle healing-pain has forced me to focus!
Circling back to my revelation. Apparently, my tendency to spin/talk in circles is a family trait. My mom is the same way but way more intense. She is a way more, in general, intense person than I am so that makes sense. I also see the same tendency in my daughter.
I NEED TO WORK ON THIS A LOT MORE!!!
Being all hobbled up has given me what I call….Forced Focus!
What is Forced Focus?
Injured ankle/hobbling one legged/crutches all mean one thing…I cannot spin in circles.
I have been forced to focus on one task at a time!!
Do you have any idea how amazing it feels to be productive and organized?!?
I actually finish tasks! And when I am working on a task, I clean up after myself as I go! (My husband is liking this aspect of Forced Focus the best!!) I am making more to-do lists and then tackling the tasks in an order that makes sense. I still do too much, but that is just me.
Forced Focus = forced slow down = one thing at a time
This is all very not like me!
So, I was tweeting last night. I was struck with inspiration.
I was thinking about maybe starting another new blog. A blog focused on this new realization. This new “Forced Focus” focus could be its own blog! I thought about it though and realized something else….I mean it is EXACTLY what LLLM (listen.learn.love.mend) is all about!
This is exactly what I wanted from my mending! I want to listen to my heart and my body, learn from what they “say” and love myself enough to Mend!!!
I have been forced to slow down.
I am embracing my inner turtle.
So, I am not starting a new blog. But I will be adding a new feature. I will blog regularly about embracing my inner turtle. I will continue to FOCUS and work on slowing down and enjoying the ride. I don’t blog for money or fame (though, I wouldn’t mind if threw money at me – not literally, mmkay?!) but I blog to have a place to work out the crazy stuff in my head. I blog so that I can figure out me.
Yesterday and today, I did some ME work.
When it comes to the turtle and the rabbit…I want to be the turtle. Running in circles and speeding around hasn’t gotten me to a happy place.
I will continue to work on focus and doing one thing – finishing it, cleaning up from it, and enjoying it before I move onto something new.
I will find my happy place.
I like turtles.
I will embrace my inner turtle.
8:15 doc appt for cast removal
9:00 Physical Therapy
Blog Christmasy recap
Blog “what’s up with ankle”
Not too sure…